Requested by @audrey
Oh, spending all your money on me and spending time on me
  1. Cunnilingus
    Never hook up with a man who is threatened by the puss
  2. Suicide threat
    You haven't truly lived until you've received a suicide threat 48 seconds after a guy finishes
  3. HPV
    Joke: What did type 6,11,16, and 18 say to the other 100+ types of HPV? "At least we have our celebrity"
  4. Perspective
    I went on a date with a man who used to be a homeless teen; I was so grateful for my MacBook Pro that night