WORDS I LOVE

  1. Lush
    "Lush" is my favorite word to describe an alcoholic, mainly because it sounds like a person bathing themselves in liquor.
  2. Extemporaneously
    Whoever invented this word, he didn’t do it extemporaneously, because this word is totally ridiculous and that’s why I love it. It’s too long, it’s cumbersome, too complicated, and when you use it you’re pretty much guaranteed to end all conversation.
  3. Yours
    I have recently fallen in love with this word. It's a possessive without an apostrophe.
  4. Apophthegm
    This word is a total fucking clown. Look at all those silent consonants, just begging to confuse foreigners vainly attempting to understand this ridiculous language. It's pronounced “AP-uh-them”.
  5. Heinous
    Bad is bad, and awful as more bad, and terrible is still badder. Go past unbearable, slip around horrific and atrocious. Long gone are crummy, raunchy, and dreadful. An inch beyond abominable, you’re at "heinous". Always staying true.
  6. Cock
    For my money, there is no better word in English to describe any part of anyone’s genitals, be they man, woman, or gender-neutral. Cocks are powerful. Cocks are large. Cocks don’t fuck around, but they do fuck. Sometimes cocks hurt a little, but most of the times cocks feel amazing. You can play with a cock, suck on a cock, even slap someone around with a cock if they’re into that.
  7. Matriculate
    In its most general form, “matriculate” means “to be added to a list”. It’s one of the most passive, uninteresting actions ever reduced to verb form. Which is why I love it.
  8. Supernumerary
    It is six megasyllables of perfection with that lovely echoed “oo” sound. All it means is “too many”. But it sounds so much cooler than that! And there is no supernumerary amount of times you can use the word “supernumerary”. I’m going to start prescribing intentionally-low numbers to everything just so I can say “supernumerary” when the outcome produces more than expected.
  9. Raw
    “Raw” is the rawest word I know. “Raw” is intense. For a word with no hard sounds, it still sounds hardcore.
  10. Assassin
    This one is easy. I love “assassin” because it has two asses. I learned this from a kid named Amir in the sixth grade, and I cannot write this word without remembering that wonderful moment when I realized I was writing “ass” on my spelling test.