OLD PEOPLE ACTIVITIES I'M NOT SURE I'LL EVER WILLINGLY TRY

  1. Shuffle board.
  2. Getting shitfaced at 9am at the VFW, FOE, Moose, or any other lodge.
  3. Driving while, although probably undiagnosed, legally blind
  4. Eating beef liver. So gross.
  5. Taking an iPhone "how-to" class at the Apple Store.
  6. Constantly popping in my pants
  7. Constantly popping in my diaper.