Reactions to My Alternative Lifestyle

Last year I started dating @alexpitz. She is the literal best. Neither of us had ever dated a lady before, and this is how some people I know reacted when I told them of my newfound joy.
  1. "I don't know what to say."
    - my mom, when i called to tell her (while driving an Oscar-winner's precious old dog from Maine to NYC)
  2. "Nothing you do could ever make me love you less."
    - my mom, working things out aloud maybe
  3. "Okay I have to go!"
    - my mom, spazzin
  4. "This is your choice and obviously I don't understand it but I love you more every day."
    - my mom, when she called back five minutes after having to go, trying to be cool
  5. "Thank god!! I thought you were gonna say she was pregnant!"
    - my dad, to my mom
  6. "Thanks for keeping me in the loop!"
    - my sister, via text, verbatim
  7. "Uh yeah we thought you already were."
    - like half my friends
  8. "What?? Woah. Amazing! Congrats!"
    - other friends
  9. "WHAT? NUH-UH. SERIOUSLY? Wait, seriously? ARE YOU FUCKING WITH ME?"
    - our friend Katie, who made a joke about us being lezzos, which I responded to with "actually, we've been meaning to tell you..."
  10. "You just wanted to know what it would be like to have sex with yourself."
    - my boss (@alexpitz and i have similar hair and fashions and glasses)