Things I Have Learned About My Boss's Approach to Air Travel

i am ready for a job in which i no longer have to book flights
  1. Aisle seats only; if she sits in a window seat the plane will crash
  2. Even if everyone at the airline says there are no aisle seats available, I have to find one or the plane will crash
  3. Row 13 is unlucky and if she sits in it the plane will crash
  4. If she does not have a Delta Comfort seat the plane won't necessarily crash but it also totally could
  5. She must have a full five minutes of quiet time pre-flight so she can focus all her mental energy on the plane's safe journey, otherwise the plane will crash
  6. Only official Delta planes will do, as any plane operated by a Delta partner will crash
  7. Sitting in the back of the plane is a surefire way to guarantee that the plane crashes
  8. Sitting in the very front of the plane will also result in the plane crashing
  9. Sitting on the left side of the plane? Yeah, that will cause the plane to crash as well