SHIT I DO

  1. Looking through the "people you may know" on Facebook and pretending like they are all actually obsessed with me
  2. Smearing my body with cruelty free cocoa butter
  3. Marveling at the freedom of braless boobs
  4. Taking naps naked
  5. Foam rolling my life away
  6. Browsing relatable memes and yelling "meeeeeee" at them
  7. Complaining about the same guy on Twitter
  8. Laying in bed on Sunday mornings
  9. Making plans and never following through
  10. Sticking my fingers in things I shouldn't stick em in
  11. Blaming my phone service when people tell me I never texted them back
  12. Telling everyone I'm a horrible person so they don't have expectations
  13. Wearing mediocre lingerie around my house like I'm not a poor student
  14. Eating food that fell on the ground