THINGS I WOULD DO IF THE FLYERS WIN THE CUP THIS YEAR
- •CryLike a baby. No shame. Been waiting 21+ years for this.
- •Skip work the next dayNo way José would I go sell office products after the single greatest moment in my life
- •Buy every souvenir itemCatch me spending over $400 on hats, tshirts, magnets, pennants, mugs, pet clothes, anything embroidered with "Philadelphia Flyers 2016 Stanley Cup Champions"
- •Take all my friends out to celebrateMark this down. Flyers win it all, bar tab on Stank
- •Send a picture of my hard dick to Sidney CrosbyObviously
- •Watch the clinching game every day for the rest of my lifeWouldn't go to bed a single night without flooding my mind of images of glory