THINGS I'VE SAID TONIGHT WHILE BABYSITTING MY FRIEND'S BOYS

  1. Get your hands out of your pants
  2. Stop mounting each other from behind
  3. Get your penis off of that
  4. Watch your heads
  5. Stop touching your privates
  6. Stop touching his privates
  7. What are you doing with that finger?
  8. I'm not wiping for you
  9. If that closes on you, it's going to really hurt
  10. We don't have cake! Stop asking for cake!