I've never really had good luck with girls. My stories don't end well. They usually aren't good during either. Maybe they'll entertain or be of interest to someone
  1. I didn't have a girlfriend in high school, so, of course, it was something that I built up to be the most important thing in the world.
  2. I was Jay Gatsby and a relationship was the green light on Daisy's dock.
  3. But I was shy and didn't really go out and do things. Later, I would be diagnosed with generalized and social anxiety disorders, along with my depression. Makes sense.
  4. Time went by. Most of my close friends were girls. That's how it's always been. There were a few girls that I was interested in, that I asked out, but they just wanted to stay friends. They were afraid it would ruin our friendship. I heard that a lot.
  5. I got my first girlfriend in 2002, when I was 20! There was a catch, of course.
  6. I met her on a Dave Matthews Band message board. She lived in South Dakota. I lived on Long Island. 1,500 miles apart and two broke college students.
  7. She came to visit first, then I went there, and back and forth for 3 years.
  8. And then I decided to move there. In May, 2005
  9. My parents were against me moving that far for a girl I met online. But I knew that true love would t lead me astray 🙄
  10. So since they basically forbade me, I went anyway. Told them a day before I was leaving. (Seriously. Who was I? Where is this spontaneous kid now?!?)
  11. I loved it there. It's beautiful, and nice, and I always felt like I fit in better in the Midwest than in New York.
  12. I transferred to the Sioux Falls target. I made work friends, but not really hangout friends.
  13. We lived in a 2 bedroom apartment with her brother (550 a month rent, total. I miss that)
  14. I was happy. We had date nights every Saturday night. We went to movies. We played games. I thought things were great.
  15. I didn't realize that things were actually horrible. Looking back, in hindsight, things weren't right.
  16. She was mean to me. I used to laugh and play it off. Carrie is mean to Doug on King of Queens, I'd say. And they're so in love and happy.
  17. The problem is that she wasn't like Carrie in any other way. Just the meanness.
  18. If I said I loved her, she'd roll her eyes. If I told her how beautiful she was, she'd roll her eyes. She never was loving that way towards me.
  19. Thinking back, I can't remember any times when she would genuinely, out of nowhere, be sweet and loving.
  20. She went out with her two friends a few times a week. I wasn't invited, which was fine. I had time to watch movies or hang out with her brother.
  21. She would come home at insane times those nights. 2/3/4am. Never talked about what she was doing when she was out. I wasn't allowed to text or contact her, bc she didn't want to feel controlled …
  22. Our date nights were always planned and then we'd go to dinner and she would be tired and want to just go home and use the computer.
  23. Also, she never went to bed when I did. She would stay online all night. Til like 3am. And she'd get annoyed if I decided to stay up with get and watch tv, since the computer was in the living room
  24. Then one day, she came home from work and said she couldn't do it anymore. She needed space. She needed to be single for a while.
  25. Imagine this came as quite a shock to me, as I was in this delusional frame of mind that everything was great
  26. She didn't tell me why. She just told me and said she was going for a drive. And she left me there. Alone. For six hours. We shared a car. So I was literally stuck.
  27. When she came back, she walked in, went right on the computer, put her headphones on, and listened to music and went on her usual message board.
  28. Awkwardly, I still lived there. She said she needed time and space, and that it might not be forever
  29. So, I held out hope. she let me sleep in the bed. She slept in the living room. By the computer.
  30. She started getting texts and phone calls. She never got texts before, that was relatively new technology and I was the only person, literally, the only person who texted her.
  31. Two weeks go by. She tells me that her friend from the message board, rob, is coming to visit in a month.
  32. That wasn't a good sign. I asked if he was coming as a friend or more. She couldn't answer. She didn't have to. The silence said it all
  33. I decided to look into moving into a dorm. At 24 years old. In grad school. In vermillion, 60 miles away.
  34. So I got a single dorm room. Thank goodness. I came back and forth on the weekends to work at target. I stayed on the couch those nights.
  35. I stayed away the weekend he came to visit. I was not allowed to text her. She said it wouldn't be right.
  36. Then, I got a call from her brother the night before he was supposed to leave. She was in the hospital. She was on psychiatric hold bc she took pills
  37. I said I would be there in an hour. He said maybe it's not a good idea that I come. Since rob would be there too
  38. I didn't care about that. I cared about her.
  39. I wasn't allowed to go.
  40. Rob ended up never leaving. He just stayed and moved in. Had his stuff shipped from Florida.
  41. It was then that I decided to move back to New York. There was nothing left for me in SoDak.
  42. She married him two months later. Two months.
  43. Two years later, she told me, in a fit of anger when she found out I started dating someone, that she cheated on me basically the whole time we were long distance and beyond.
  44. She knew I was at a dmb concert. With my new gf. She new it would upset me.
  45. She's now in a miserable marriage. She added me on Facebook a few years ago. I accepted. She said she still thinks I'm the best person she's ever known and she wants nothing but happiness for me
  46. She's miserable in her life and her marriage.
  47. My personal life isn't much better, but I think overall my life is better.
  48. Look for parts 2 and 3 soon
  49. For more backstory about this time in my life, check out my thanksgiving 2006 A Lonely Thanksgiving Tale