I Just Had a Deeply Scary and Depressing Thought

Rewatching Dawson's Creek has brought about a great many emotions. Flashbacks to feelings and memories that I thought had left my brain fifteen years ago.
  1. During tonight's episode (Season 2, Episode 7: The All-Nighter), the Capeside gang converged on high school big-shot and ladies man Chris Wolfe's house to cram for a midterm
  2. Joey and Dawson have had trouble communicating since Joey broke up with him because she needed space after jack kissed her.
  3. Pacey and Andie are still in that "getting to know you" phase of budding romance
  4. And Jen has had Chris Wolfe trying to get her attention for a while.
  5. Throw all this into a rich family's New England mansion and you'll have an interesting night.
  6. There comes a point where Joey is talking to Chris Wolfe's little sister, after Dawson tells the young girl that she shouldn't grow up too fast because some kisses can ruin your life and yadda yadda Dawson being overly insane
  7. Joey tells her that growing up sucks. It's hard. But that there are times when love, romance, and everything falls into place and it feels perfect and amazing.
  8. And it hit me.
  9. I've felt that before.
  10. Not when I was in high school. But I've had that amazing, walking on clouds, everything's perfect love.
  11. But what if that was it? What if I've had that experience. What if I don't find love again?
  12. I only have one life. I've used up 33 years of it already. Where I am now is not where I want to be.
  13. As I get older, it's only going to get harder. And time will roll on.
  14. Will I die alone?