I'm Beyond Overwhelmed with Life
If there was a word stronger than overwhelmed, it would be up in the title, but a google search gave no other options.
- •I'm at a breaking point and I honestly don't know how to handle things anymore. I'm actually unable to control my feelings and anxiety in any way.
- •At this point I'm overwhelmed with three important things in my life. My health, my finances, and work. In that order, actually.
- •I bought a new scale because my old one had a weight limit and wouldn't show my weight anymore. I stepped on the scale and was horrified by what I saw. I saw a number I never thought i would weigh. It disgusted me, scared me, and made me physically sick. I need to lose extreme amounts of weight.
- •I need to go to the doctor, get blood work done, stop eating horribly bad for me foods. And I try and try. And I fail. My willpower is gone. I don't know what to do. I've hit rock bottom and that hasn't even helped me get up and start working my way back up.
- •I don't want to die. If I keep eating and living this way, I will die. That should scare the daylights out of me. It doesn't. It enough. But every day I start fresh and try again. I won't give up on this. I'm making little changes at first. I need to build up to a new lifestyle.
- •My finances aren't horrible. I've done a lot of work to pay down my credit cards, get myself to some lower interest rates for what I do still have on my cards, and put some money aside each paycheck.
- •I want to move. I want to get a house for me and Emily and start living my life. I'm going to need to save at least 20,000 for a down payment, at a minimum. I'm saving, but I don't think I'll get to that goal by my self imposed deadline of next November.
- •And that's fine, as long as I keep saving and don't dig into that fund for anything that's not life or death.
- •But it's so far away. That overwhelms me. I can't wait every two weeks to see a small amount added to my savings, and then slowly watch it build. I just want to get going.
- •Work isn't bad. I just feel like I'm not getting any recognition or anything positive from some of my higher ups, and that makes me so sad. All it takes is a simple "good job" to pick up my spirits.
- •I don't know. It's hard to explain in a way that doesn't make me sound like I'm just whining. It may not seem like a lot to people, but having all of these things weigh on me is starting to crush me. It hurts more than I can explain.