WHAT I'LL DO AFTER I WIN THE POWERBALL JACKPOT
- •Buy a tuxedo, a top hat, a monocle, and a cane. And wear them everywhere every day.
- •Become one of the investors on Shark Tank, then just sit there, ridicule people, and tell them their inventions are not worthy of my money.
- •Change my name to Thurston Howell IV, and perhaps take a 3hour boat tour.
- •Track down my old college roommate and pay him back that twenty bucks I've owed him since '93.
- •Splurge and add guacamole to my Chipotle burrito.