AT THE PLAYGROUND IN ASTORIA, QUEENS WITH MY KID ON THE FIRST NICE NIGHT IN FOREVER: A NOVELLA

  1. This place is packed. It's really not very fun here when it's this crowded.
  2. Ah well, Sami is having fun, I can chill here for a minute.
  3. Oh man, that little kid running full speed just bit it so hard, try not to laugh, you will look like a psychopath.
  4. That other dad totally saw young-Jerry O'Connell fall too and wants to laugh. I'll just do the smile and nod at him.
  5. Successful acknowledgment complete.
  6. These kids just run places and don't look where they're going. I hope none of them run into me accidentally.
  7. That kid just ran out of the park. And now his mom is chasing after him.
  8. Seeing kids get yelled at is super fun to watch.
  9. I wonder if I could yell at these other kids too.
  10. What would you do if you saw some strange bozo yell at Sami?
  11. Yeah, don't yell at anyone outside your gene pool.
  12. Am I the coolest dad here? All these guys look 40.
  13. Do I look 40?
  14. I def don't look 40. I've still got like 4 decent years left in me.
  15. Seriously, these guys look like Jim Walsh. Could I win In fight against everyone here?
  16. Yes def. Except that dad in the Sergio Tacchini track suit. He is attached to some outfit without a doubt.
  17. You should become friends with him just in case.
  18. What if you guys get mad tight but then you need a favor from him someday and he doesn't want to do it because he knows what it means but you insist and then you're in his debt and then he's using your sporting goods store as a front for stolen goods and plane tix like that Sopranos ep?
  19. On second thought, stay away from that guy.
  20. I wonder if any of these moms are single? Not in a sexual way, in a Tyler Perry Presents The Single Mom's Club, let's get some wine and talk about our ex's way. That could be cool.
  21. Unless their ex is that track suit wearing, sporting goods store stealing, no-goodnik. That would be bad.
  22. I'm really killing this single dad life. Friday afternoon playground session? Father of the year stuff.
  23. Where is Sami?
  24. Running into other dads. She's fine.
  25. *whistles theme song to The Andy Griffith Show*