BEST LINES FROM THE I'M A PROFESSIONAL COWBOY AND I USE CATHETERS LATE NIGHT TV COMMERCIAL

I don't have cable but this Cowboy Catheter commercial plays multiple times a night on my HD antenna. Here's the full video. It is wild. http://youtu.be/2soNIkzS0m4
  1. Attention catheter patients on Medicare:
  2. "I'm a professional cowboy and I use catheters."
  3. "Been cowboying for 25 years, I've broken 14 bones, had 2 concussions and a punctured lung. I know pain. And I don't want any more of it, especially when I cath."
  4. "Now I use these nearly painless catheters from Medical Direct Club. They hurt less. Compared to the old ones, these ain't nothing."
  5. "Here's how it works, you call and get a free catheter sample. I was just like you wondering if I should call. Boy, I'm glad I did. Give yourself a break from pain and try these new catheters. You won't know unless you try them."
  6. "Give them a call now. You have nothing to worry about, they bill Medicare and your insurance company. You pay nothing up front! You get your free nearly painless catheter sample sent right to your home."