BEST PAIRS FROM THE "FAMOUS TV AND MOVIE FRIEND" BOOK
I got this book when I was a kid and nobody can convince me all of these people (and animals) aren't best friends so don't even try.
- •Full House's DJ & KimmyAlways wanted to see Full House from the POV of the Giblers. Everyone threw mad shade at the Giblers for being eccentric. Here's an exercise, describe the living situation going on in the Tanner household to someone who has never seen the show. "There's this widowed guy with three kids but he can't really take care of them so he brings a wannabe standup comic and a wannabe rocker to help. Every year they convert some part of their house: attic, basement, garage." The Tanners are a nightmare.
- •Boy Meets World's Cory & ShawnIt's really hard to watch Boy Meets World after you see the movie Cruising because Corey's dad, William Russ is in both and I can't think of Cruising without picturing a guy in a Leatherman outfit rubbing Vaseline from his fist to elbow. So if you don't want Alan Matthews and the Girl Meets World spinoff ruined, then don't let your young kids watch Cruising.
- •Seaquest's Lucas & DarwinWhen Steve Hawking finally completes his Unified Theory of Everything I hope there is a chapter that covers how Roy Scheider's best movie has his worst enemy being a shark and his best tv show has his bff being a dolphin. Also, Jonathan Brandis was the best. He did Twelfth Night but with soccer and Rodney Dangerfield and made a very young me feel like it was totally cool to wear boys or girls clothes in pursuit to win a sports championship or whenever really.
- •California Dreams' Tiffani & TonyI get it that Tiffani and Tony are the only original band mates but Sly was also there from the beginning and if you think there's any way I can talk about California Dreams without Sly's scheming or the cool rock-God that is Jake Sommers than you are not a surf-dude with attitude. Jake Sommers is cooler than Zack Morris and Fonzie put together. For the rest of my life I just want to wear a white t-shirt, leather jacket, and ripped acid wash jeans like my hero, Jake Sommers.
- •Blossom's Blossom & SixJenny Von Oy has the greatest name of all time. How did we get through this many years without Diablo Cody dropping it into a line of dialogue? Don't tell me you can't see Juno saying something like "Jenna Von Oy Vey, I'm pregnant by Pauly Bleeker." The only person who is close to best name is Elle Delle Donne but she plays basketball and wasn't on Blossom. The time Joey went to Paris on Blossom was the first time I've ever seen Paris. I've still never been but I'll never forget his trip.
- •D2: The Mighty Ducks Charlie & LuisIf I were to have a spirit animal and I'm not saying that I do, it would be a mighty duck named Goldberg. Charlie Conway is a good kid, a little boring, but clutch and I respect that. Obviously Josh Jackson turned out to be the man but draft day back in '92, my first pick is Goldberg every time. The best of the best of the best. D2 should be a film everyone studies about how to make proper additions for a sequel. You lose little Pete but you add in a Kenan and figure skater Ken Wu. Great GMing.
- •Family Matters' Urkel & LauraThe only thing I ever want to talk about with Family Matters is Waldo Geraldo Faldo. This is an all-time great character arc. He started out as a bully tormenting Eddie. Then he made the transition to Eddie's sidekick and the best deliverer of the dummy punchline on TGIF. Yea, I'm putting him over Cody from Step-By-Step in dumb guy comic relief ability. Waldo dated Maxine and when Urkel's catchphrases got too tired, he carried the torch with "No prob Bob." Long live Waldo, a forgotten hero.
- •Saved By The Bell's Lindsay & MeganI had a huge crush on Lindsay from Saved By The Bell: The New Class but it was super annoying because she was always kind of, sort of dating Tommy D. The producers were trying to push Tommy D so hard on the world and he just couldn't get over. They wanted him to be Jake Sommers from California Dreams but there can only be one of those. Beat it Tommy D.
- •Free Willy's Jesse & WillyI've devoured nearly all the pop culture existing in the 90s. The one hole in my game is Free Willy. Never seen it. I'll watch it eventually, 90's nostalgia is like a drug and there's only a finite amount of it. Eventually I'll bottom out and that will be Free Willy. The first time I saw that coming attraction with the whale jumping over the kid on the reef with Michael Jackson singing I was like damn, that will be my version of pouring shoe polish through a piece of bread to get high.
- •90210's Brandon & DylanThe first time I knew what true friendship looked like was when Brandon fell over the side of that mountain and Dylan was screaming "Brandon, where you at man?" And then saved him. Dylan slept with Brandon's sister, then they fought over Kelly and made her choose between them and she chose herself and they did a weird flashback ep to Vietnam where Brandon was a soldier and Dylan was a hippy and even through all that, Dylan was never like, "shoulda let you die during our camping trip, bro."