CASUAL OBSERVATIONS ABOUT THE MOVIE TYLER PERRY'S THE SINGLE MOMS CLUB

I am a single person with a kid so I watched The Single Moms Club out of solidarity.
  1. People in this world keep acting like parenting your kid is a dubious thing to do. This boardroom guy said "let me guess, a date with your daughter" like Wendy McLendon-Covey was missing work to wait online for Bon Jovi tickets.
  2. Terry Crews has a beautiful singing voice.
  3. Wendy McLendon-Covey's character's name is Jan Malkovich and every time someone says it I expect them to be spit out onto the side of the New Jersey Turnpike.
  4. The Single Moms Club is formed when the five mom's kids get in trouble and as punishment they have to plan a dance together. It is like Divorce Voltron.
  5. Ryan Eggold from the new 90210 is Amy Smart's new neighbor. I don't know who is luckier to live next to whom.
  6. "What did I tell you about cold sores? Kissing gives you cold sores." is the dopest parenting advice you can give.
  7. Tyler Perry is a genius for many reasons but mostly bc he wrote this movie where he's a character that gets to try to date Nia Long. Wow.
  8. I get the dad's aren't supposed to be good guys bc then why would they all be ex husbands but the one that doesn't care his daughter is smoking is some other other. "She was just messing around with her friends, it's no big deal." She got caught smoking and almost got expelled but cool thinking dad.
  9. It is a special moment when a group of strangers can bond over wine about how terrible their kids are.
  10. Cigarette dad drops in the same convo "you're mad I married someone else, accept that we're over," and then tells his ex he'll kick her out of the her house if she has a boyfriend. He looks like bootleg Josh Brolin and has zero redeeming qualities aside from owning a sweet car dealership.
  11. Jan Malkovich works in publishing and her nickname was The Bone Collector before she had a kid.
  12. UnderArmor might have been invented solely for Terry Crews to wear.
  13. Tyler Perry read Nia Long's 300 page manuscript overnight, he knows how to write a character for himself for real.
  14. The Single Moms Club has one member watch all the kids so the others can go do karaoke and go to strip clubs then the rotate. Who wants to start a real one?
  15. Tyler Perry neg'd Nia Long saying she has a lazy eye, that's Nia Long. That's Lisa the Fresh Princess of Bel Air.
  16. Ryan Eggold had a full minute of double entendre sex dialogue but all I can think of is how Naomi's sister, Jen was terrible to him on 90210.
  17. Nia Long is writing a book about The Single Moms Club is the middle of the movie The Single Moms Club.
  18. Single Mom Club perk, quadruple dates to the movies.
  19. Best part of the movie is there are zero happily married people. There aren't any unhappily married people either. There's no married people period.
  20. Terry Crews has a pickup truck with his picture on the side and Body & Booty by Branson with a weight bench in the flatbed, it's the coolest.
  21. This kid getting robbed by his dad is the most messed up moment in movie history aside from G-Baby getting shot in Hard Ball for no reason.
  22. Jan Malkovich stole Nia Long's manuscript, got a new job, had the book published without her knowledge, and had a finished product with a cover all in about a week. That's a crime and a miracle.