CASUAL OBSERVATIONS ABOUT THE THE MOVIE BATTLEFIELD EARTH

I cannot stop watching John Travolta movies.
  1. There is no such thing as a bad Travolta movie. There are only Travolta movies that need to be appreciated differently.
    Do you even know how lucky we are to have John Travolta's post-2000 movie catalog to watch and enjoy forever?
  2. In the year 3000, Barry Pepper left home to get medicine for his dad, then the Gods took his father in the night before he got back, then Barry Pepper throws the medicine in the sky, presumably at the Gods.
  3. How can Barry Pepper have long hair and bangs? If they can cut hair, why isn't everyone's shorter? If they can't, where did his bangs come from?
  4. How do people not love this movie? Barry Pepper gets into a fight with a mini-golf dinosaur statue with a putt-putt club.
  5. Every transition is a middle-out swipe, I think they edited this movie in PowerPoint.
  6. The Travolta alien keeps referring to humans as "man-animals."
  7. Feels like the hair and makeup freed Travolta up emotionally to play around with this character in a really well-rounded way.
  8. Imagine when they were making Phenomenon, Travolta had Forest Whitaker access and was like, "I have this idea for a movie, hear me out...
    ...it's the year 3000. You and me in braided wigs with full goatees and we're aliens with terrible teeth and long finger nails. You down?
  9. Travolta keeps getting space drunk on vials of green ooze from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2.
  10. Battlefield Earth is kind of a misnomer, they should have called it Slowly Mining Earth but maybe that doesn't sound as snappy?
  11. I don't know, seems like the only problem with Battlefield Earth is not enough Travolta.
  12. Travolta's best scheme in the whole movie is setting the man-animals free so he can see what their favorite food is to bribe them with when they're recaptured. They eat rats bc it is the only edible thing they find.
  13. Travolta and Whitaker have a really solid chemistry together in this. You can tell where Phenomenon really enhanced Battlefield Earth.
    Side thought: what if Battlefield Earth is the sequel to Phenomenon? Maybe the aliens George sees is real and just the first wave of the Psychlo invasion to Earth. Everyone is dead 9 minutes after Phenomenon ends? Whoa!
  14. Barry Pepper gets zapped by a brain ray and learns what an isosceles triangle is.
  15. John Travolta stuffing a rat into Barry Pepper's mouth gotta be in AFI's 150 Greatest Movie Moments.
  16. There is legitimately a running joke about Barry Pepper's favorite food being rat because of that failed surveillance mission Travolta facilitates.
  17. Travolta shot one leg off of a cow. I hope this at least won some special effects accolades.
  18. Travolta has now nicknamed Barry Pepper "Rat Brain." This may be the greatest running joke of any movie ever of all time.
  19. Convinced every bar scene in Battlestar Galactica is an homage to Battlefield Earth.
  20. Battlefield Earth is seriously just Planet of the Apes with alien economics mixed in.
    Bright Eyes = Rat Brain
  21. Travolta says "Rat Brain" more times than there are people who get killed in Die Hard 2.
  22. The main motivation for any plot point is gold. So of course they go to the tropiest gold trope possible: Fort Knox
  23. There is a robbing Fort Knox in the year 3000 scene. How do people seriously not love this movie?
  24. These cave man-animals get from Kentucky to Texas in less than five days with zero forms of transportation. Barry Pepper is magic.
  25. Battlefield Earth is 90% plot twists. There are at least three plot twists every minute.
  26. Is it bad I'm rooting for Travolta and the aliens? They are way more entertaining. Not sure the man-animals deserve the planet.
  27. All the cave man-animals have learned to fly jets.
  28. Barry Pepper tricks Travolta into blowing off his own arm, how does he not say "who is the Rat Brain now, sucka"?
  29. Sucks, the humans won. Would've rather seen a Psychlo victory tbh.
  30. Forest Whitaker and Travolta turning on each other is harder to watch for me than when Scarface kills Manolo.
  31. They keep Travolta with only one arm alive in a cage. I would do anything to have this in my house in real life. He could even have both of his arms still.
  32. Genuinely don't understand why people dislike this movie. It is so damn cuckoo pants entertaining.
  33. Oh good, the book Battlefield Earth is 1000 pages and has a soundtrack by L Ron Hubbard called Space Jazz. I know what my next list will be...