HISTORY OF MY EARRINGS

For @stamos 💖
  1. In 1987 George Michael released Faith. I was five years old and I thought "that is the coolest man who has ever lived." One day I too will have a dangly earring, leather jacket, and ripped jeans.
    No joke, '87 George Michael still is the coolest of all time.
  2. Other early earring idols: Nick from Family Ties and Rob Lowe in St. Elmo's Fire and Jason Patric in Lost Boys.
    Nick was tough because I liked him a lot but also wanted to be Mallory's boyfriend, too. Actually, I wanted to be Jami Gertz's boyfriend in Lost Boys, and in real life and still do.
  3. When my step-brother turned 13 he got his ear pierced. I was 8 and wanted to get mine done, too.
    My mom promised me that when I turned 13 I could get my done as well. I think she said that to buy time. She didn't realize I was basically marking the date down on my calendar.
  4. My birthday was the day before my bar mitzvah. I was determined to collect. My mom took me to a jewelry store in the Bay Terrace shopping center. It was like $30 bc they gave you a real heavy duty stud to put in. They used the gun. It didn't hurt but I was a little lightheaded after.
    The next day I showed up to my Bar Mitzvah with a brand new earring. My dad flipped. My grandma was furious. Everyone was screaming at me about the pictures. I didn't care. I was so happy.
  5. I inherited all these weird old earrings my stepbrother had and didn't wear anymore. One was a lightning bolt stud. It was so cool but it had sharp edges and dug into my ear when I wore it. One was a Mickey Mouse shape that I got made fun of wearing to school but I ended up losing it anyway.
  6. I can't remember the exact date of the next two earrings. I was prob like 16 or 17. I went to Claire's in Bay Terrace with my friend Ryan Goldstein, who also had more than one earring. I think the 2nd one I was 16 but you needed to be 17 so I lied and they gave me a 2nd hole in my left ear.
    Then for the third one, it was a few months later and I was 17. I got one in my right ear. It was supposedly only acceptable to get your other ear pierced if you had more in the left ear. So if you got 3 in the right, you had to have 4 in the left.
  7. By this point I was rocking all hoops. It was like '98-'99. That's what you did back then. Mad cool, yo.
    I wore three hoops when I started college and kept them in until sophomore year. 2002 I went to Acapulco for spring break. I went cliff diving drunk and I when I hit the water, all three earrings came out of my ears. I never put any back in again. (I also had a terrible headache after the dive).
  8. Senior year of college in 2004, we had an '80s party and I finally got my George Michael dangly earring. It had a skull and crossbones on it. I still have them.
    A few years later I wore it to another '80s party at an apartment.
  9. This week I put in hoop earrings for the first time in over a decade to shoot a video for a new book I acquired called Kill the Boy Band. Nobody at work had seen me in earrings before. It was great. I looked like a legit boy bander.
    The nice thing is that I pretty much always have the option to throw some earrings in if I feel like it. It's a hell of a shock when I do.