HOW TO FIX MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL GAMES

Not in the Pete Rose kind of way, in the welcome to 2015 line of thought.
  1. 365 game seasons
    The baseball season is mad long right now at 162 games. It spans like two or three actual years making it impossible to ever know what year it really is. If we had 365 game seasons, it could be one game a day for a year. Nice, neat, and simple.
  2. Have a "field DH"
    The designated hitter makes lineups more interesting. The designated fielder would do the same. Add a tenth player onto the field. They can wander around and play wherever they want. This could lead to either better plays or more on-field collisions. Either way a win.
  3. Swap out some of the dude players with women
    Have you seen A League of Their Own? It's the most entertained I've ever been watching baseball ever. People are stupid bc the Mighty Ducks became a hockey team after the movie and the Raptors joined the NBA after Jurassic Park but there's no real-life Rockford Peaches.
  4. Bring back Disco Demolition Night
    You may have heard that what put the nail in the coffin of Disco was a 1979 White Sox game where they blew up a crate of Disco records and a riot started. I like Disco records but we can blow other things up. Like Corporate Interest Explosion Night. We can ignite up all the seats that cost like $1000 to sit in bc only corporations buy them which means you can't get a $7 ticket and sneak down to better seats like you could back in the day even if the park is empty.
  5. Cheaper beer
    I used to sit in this section at Shea Stadium and the beer guy would come around screaming "beer here" and someone would yell "how much?" and beer guy would say "$7.50" and then we'd all yell "you drink it!" Now it costs the same as a 3D IMAX movie for one drink and you don't even get to steal the glasses.
  6. Change the 7th Inning Stretch to the 4th Inning Nap
    Who need to stretch 7 innings in? You're so close to being done. This is the finish line. If you made it seven innings, two more is nothing. But the fourth inning is a dead zone. Everyone should be encouraged to take a much-needed siesta from innings 4-6. Try to think of one exciting thing that ever happened in one of those innings. It is impossible. Nothing on-field ever.
  7. Let everyone use steroids
    Fuck it. Level playing field. Get the best of everyone out there. You do it for a few cycles there's not that much long term damage. Guys are doing it anyway. I want to see 500 feet home runs and players with heads that look like when Ken Griffey Jr drank the nerve tonic on The Simpsons.
  8. Turn warning track into a moat
    Self-explanatory.
    Suggested by   @gabe