REASONS I BOUGHT THIS JOFFREY BARATHEON FIGURE ON SALE FOR $7

I saw this at the place I get my lunch today. It was on a sales table with all the 2nd tier lame Avengers characters. I knew it had to be mine.
  1. Much like former President Richard Nixon, Joffrey was short on ethics but had some fantastic governing policies. Would we even be in contact with China today?
  2. I don't understand what is going on during any episode of Game of Thrones. At least with Joffrey I knew "that kid = mega bad guy" and I am nostalgic for those days when I had just a little bit of clarity about what I was watching.
  3. To make a statement to my co-workers. They come over to my desk to ask me a question, see my Joffrey figure, whoa what's up with this guy? It's like having a Charles Manson poster or a copy of The Game by Neil Strauss on your bookshelf. Big red alert.
  4. Re-gifting potential is off the charts. Imagine someone was like "hey here's a present, I saw this and thought about you." And it's a Joffrey toy. Message received loud and clear.
  5. I've spent waaaaaay more than $7 on a joke before. This is nothing.
  6. Because I love Cersei so much, maybe if I am nice to her boy she will come to me and raise her one eyebrow at me and look at me like she will never be nice to be in my entire life aka true love.
  7. He made inbreeding look good.