THE UNIFICATION THEORY OF JUSTIN THEROUX ROLES ON SEX AND THE CITY

Justin Theroux plays two guys that Carrie dates on Sex in the City. In season 1 he is Jared, the cocky flavor of the moment author with big book buzz. In season 2 he's Vaughn Wysel the mama's boy mega geek with premature ejaculation issues. This is an attempt to reconcile his two characters.
  1. Theory 1: they are the same person. Vaughn "Jared" Wysel chose to write fiction under his middle name Jared rather than trade off the fame of his parents, both artists themselves. His book had a huge buzz behind it and he was super cocky, telling Carrie he fucking loves her when she says his reputation allows him to act like an ass.
  2. Carrie was only using Jared to make Big jealous and she doesn't go with Jared even though he wears sunglasses at night and asks her point blank to come home with him. That was the first blow to his ego. Then his book was a huge flop. He was completely humbled. He shaved his unibrow and went back to writing short fiction under his family name.
  3. After Big and Carrie broke up in S2, she bumps into Vaughn and is surprised to see how much he changed from the disappointment of his book flopping over last year. He introduces Carrie to his mom, Valerie Harper and they hit it off. But Vaughn's swag is completely gone and he can't even make it to bed because he is so turned on by Carrie.
  4. Apparently his unibrow was a huge part of his swag virility and once he got rid of it, he's a no minute man which is way worse than a one minute man. He still actually never gets to sleep with Carrie which haunts him forever.
  5. Theory 2: Justin Theroux actually played every guy that Carrie dated on the whole show including Mr. Big, the John Slattery "pee on me" guy, Bon Jovi, and Alanis when they kiss playing spin the bottle. Everyone just thinks these were other actors but it was all in fact Theroux.
  6. Theory 3: two dudes exist in the same city, both who kind of look like actor, Justin Theroux. Carrie dates both of them because she saw an early cut of Mulholland Drive and was really turned on by Theroux and Naomi Watt's performances so a couple of guys she dates pre and post Big have Theroux-like qualities.
  7. Theory 4: Bradford Dillman played eight different characters on Murder She Wrote in ten years (I wrote a whole other list about this) so why can't Theroux play two different guys in two seasons? Because it is ridiculous, there are a million other actors and it's a very distracting thing to do. I hope this isn't what happened.
  8. Theory 5: Jared and Vaughn are identical twins that were accidentally separated at birth in the hospital by an exhausted nurse working overtime. They grew up never know about each other. Carrie was clearly too self-involved to notice that she dated two people who looked exactly the same.
    Suggested by   @eatthelove