1. How do you open so many Duane Reades in such small area of square footage? A recent Yahoo search shows that there are now actually more Duane Reades in the city than there are people living here. Everyone could have their own Duane READE if they wanted. Some people in Staten Island can have two.
  2. This is the best usage of time travel. It's pretty much the only way I feel comfortable utilizing the technology. Pick up Duane Reade in the past, blow his goddamn mind and then drop him off again. Destroy the time machine, never speak of it again.
  3. Duane Reade isn't even a person. I knew this going in. The stores are named for the two streets the first location was opened at. But can you imagine if he was real, how much his mind would be blown at the sheer number of stores in current day NYC with his name on them?
  4. Duane Reade will make Chase Bank obsolete bc why do you need a bank when theres a Chase in every Duane Reade and 2 Duane Reades on every block. Chase Banks, the guy Chase Bank is named after would also have his mind blown if he came to current day NYC but in 5 years he'd be sad bc Chase will be dead