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I have very straight, flat blond hair.
  1. People use it as a conversation piece.
    "I was trying to figure out why you look different, and then I realized that your hair is down." No shit.
  2. It gets in my face
    And tries to stay there
  3. I will put my hair in my mouth.
    It's a nervous habit.
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No one has ever said I was trending or trendy or had a vague notion of what a trend was.
  1. Aww, shucks.
  2. Thanks for the relist @PeteOnEarth!
    It's all because of you.
  1. The grocery store doesn't sell fresh kale or raw almonds
  2. But does sell gallon-sized tubs of ranch dressing
Texts I sent to my boyfriend
  1. We need Star Wars couch pillows, right?
  2. But they're fuzzy!
  3. What about a Batman shirt with Adam West's face on it?
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After only working Monday-Thursday for nine months, my first Friday back has created some confusion.
  1. So much casual wear.
  2. Why is everyone so happy?
  3. Why am I here?
  4. Fuck this.
This list brought to you by repression and Jameson.
  1. Drink
    Whiskey, preferably. Beer or wine in a pinch.
  2. Take the dog for a walk
    He's so happy. It's infectious.
  3. Drink
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  1. Totes McGoats!
  2. Ser Pounce
    The bonus outdoor cat that moved with the neighbors a couple of months ago.
  3. Dog pic #1
    I'm honestly surprised the first picture I landed on wasn't a dog picture. I have a lot. He's very photogenic.
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