Reasons I don't wear my hair down

I have very straight, flat blond hair.
  1. People use it as a conversation piece.
    "I was trying to figure out why you look different, and then I realized that your hair is down." No shit.
  2. It gets in my face
    And tries to stay there
  3. I will put my hair in my mouth.
    It's a nervous habit.
  4. But most of all...
  5. It's because I look like a member of Hanson.
    I was just washing my hands and looked in the mirror and legitimately thought 'Why is there a member of a 90s boy band in the women's restroom?' But who am I kidding? I could only hope to look so fabulous.