1. I pretend I am a person who is capable of having any chill
  2. I compliment them way too often
  3. If they upload pictures of the two of us to the internet, I share them everywhere
  4. I remind myself that these are not the actions of someone with any chill
  5. I suddenly make futile attempts at distancing myself only to find myself liking half of their Facebook statuses
  6. I overthink everything they say to me at least three times if they seem to be showing interest
  7. I resign myself to the idea that I've become very good at lucid dreaming and sex dreams are way less messy than actual relationships
  8. I continue to have no chill and spend as much time with them as possible
  9. I make lists on here about it because I can't shut up about my crushes but I don't want to annoy anyone with my lack of chill.