1. "I'm better than other people."
    I think this whenever I get defensive about a poorly liked status/instagram
  2. "If you've ever met me, you're welcome."
  3. "We're just smarter than other people."
    This was my attempt to flirt with a fellow Narcissistic Asshole. I guess it worked - we're still both in love with ourselves.
  4. "I need to upgrade my friends."
    I say this whenever I can't find someone to go grab dinner with me.
  5. "Well, this class is better because it's the one I'm in, and I'm a delight."
  6. "Aren't I super cute always?"
  7. "Why does this always happen to me???"
    After my boyfriend told me he was sick.
  8. Um, ok, but can we talk about me for a sec?
    After someone briefly interrupts my ongoing monologue.
  9. "Red and black are my favorite colors because they're the ones I look best in. But I look good in all colors - except for brown."
    SIKE!!! I look great in brown, too
  10. "I keep falling in love with myself."