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  1. A. Corne
  2. E. Tsnutz
  3. Squarrell Williams
2 more...
  1. It is winter.
  2. The news is scary.
  3. Dogs and cats can't seem to get along.
3 more...
  1. The money dared me.
  2. Robots needed it.
  3. Saw a rainbow this morning.
4 more...
  1. My hands are too big for crime
  2. Busy murdering someone else that day
  3. Steve did it. You know which Steve I'm talking about. Go ask him about it
2 more...
  1. 1.
    "Pete M", degenerate taquito addict. Who can blame him? They are delicious.
  2. 2.
    Stinky Pete. He smells fine, actually, but his morals are questionable.
  3. 3.
    Pete "The Pete Man" Peteman. Being THE "Pete Man" is his whole identity. He also answers to "The Pete Bro" or "El Duder Pedro."
3 more...
  1. Sometimes friendly, sometimes officious, most of the time just doing their job
  2. Probably represent authority, uncertainty, and/or my unconscious desire for sunglasses
  3. Can fly, but not by flapping their arms. They usually have to catch a good breeze
2 more...
  1. Socks don't even have the OPTION of dating
  2. Even if they did, their identical twin is always right there, spoiling any chance for privacy
  3. Also, their job sucks. They work hard as foot assistants, but shoes get all the credit
7 more...
  1. Hey. Dude.
  2. What the hell do you think you're doing?
  3. We're all in a single file line boarding the bus.
15 more...
  1. Bonefinders, Inc
  2. Butt Scents Ltd
  3. The Boy Excellence Store
3 more...
A few resolutions for the next 16 hours or so
  1. Don't oversleep
  2. Eat waffles
  3. Take a shower
2 more...