1. Seaweed Snout (Walruses try to keep their snouts clean. For the ladies)
  2. Terrible-Tusked Tubby (Two digs at once!)
  3. Former President Teddy Roosevelt (Walruses hate being confused for Teddy Roosevelt due to their teeth. It happens a lot)
  4. Wal-Wuss (Classic wordplay)
  5. "I am the walrus, not you!" (More of a taunt than an insult, but walruses love the Beatles, so he'll get the reference)