LIES WE ALL TELL FREELY

Time to come clean, a list inspired by my trip to the dentist.
  1. I floss daily.
    To the dentist.
  2. I think I saw something about that in the New Yorker.
    Andy Borowitz doesn't count.
  3. I listen to nothing but @npr in the car.
    All things considered, we know you are lying. Even Robert and Audie need a little Shake it Off in their daily commute. *get that picture out of your head*
  4. I only buy local and organic products.
    Oh, is that an organic, local apple or just a regular iPhone?
  5. Workers rights are a big thing for me.
    From the back seat of an Uber.
  6. 1-3 drinks a week.
    Health survey, more like health story! #amirite?🍻🍻🍻
  7. Once this goes public, I'm never using ListApp again.
    Yeah...