THINGS MY FAMILY SAYS
We have sayings. Many of them make little-to-no sense out of context but we say them out of context all the time. @abbyzeecee was lost for a few years but we helped.
- •You, know...if you start clean...Said every time you are in the kitchen and doing some sort of work. It started as an honest statement but it has turned into a great joke. So if someone does dishes or wipes downs before cooking starts, one must say...if you start clean...
- •You're going to miss me when I'm dead.Said by my mother when we make fun of her. She means it jokingly. We think.
- •I hate tea.Said by my dad WHENEVER tea is discussed. Like at a restaurant an a server asks if you want coffee or tea he says in a low voice, "I hate tea."
- •Prepare the Meat.This is the extent of the direction provided to get the stuffing ready for stuffed peppers by my maternal grandmother's hand-written cook book. It has become short hand for overly simplistic but understood directions.
- •Be scarred.I had some trouble with spelling as a child (which has carried over to my adult life). I wrote this on a white board on our refrigerator because something fit into a small container and it has become a thing whenever leftovers fit into a Tupperware.
- •Peppers. They repeat on me.Like my father's hatred of tea, anytime someone talked about eating bell peppers my mom has to say, "Peppers they repeat on me." Now we all say it which normally results in her saying, "you're going to miss me when I'm dead."
- •Prince William can kiss my ass.Not as prevalent but still an important place in family lore. About 15 years ago, on vacation in a hotel in Hawaii my mom and sister (@sally in case you forgot) were talking about some People magazine stuff and it was late and my dad wanted to sleep. There was a question about something to which my dad responded with the above listed saying. It's a classic.
- •Is 11:fucking-30 the same as 11:30?More than 20 years ago, while sharing a hotel room in New York, Sally and I were caring on like idiots (as we do). My father came into the other side of the suite we had screaming at us, "ITS 11 FUCKING 30. Go. To. Sleep." A calculated risk for greater impact. It worked. We were quiet. For two very long seconds. After which I asked the above listed question to which the entire family lost our shit.
- •"Duck" (with head motion)Anytime someone talks about the animal or meal duck, we all duck our heads.
- •That's a stick out.Born out of the classic greeting card (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Stickout) the men in our family often attempt this and get called out by the women in the family by saying, "that's a stick out."
- •THIS COFFEE'S COLD!I ordered "Coffee & Donuts" for dessert at the French Laundry when I was 13. Yes. I know. But I can still tell you about this meal and how lovely it was. But I was shocked (SHOCKED I SAY!) that the coffee was cold. I handed it to my mom with a smug look on my face. She took a sip, worried that her asshat son was going to send something back at the French Laundry. After the sip, she yelled at me saying, "Its mousse!" So whenever I need to put in my place this is used. It's used often.
- •Dúle Hill, he's a dancer.This started when we watched The West Wing as a family. Every time the opening credits came on my mom would say, "Dúle Hill, he's a dancer." Believe it or not this comes up more often than you would think.
- •If I didn't say it you wouldn't know it was me.Said after we make fun of my mom for saying anything listed above.