THINGS THAT NEED CUTTING ON BABIES

In order of the trauma endured by parents
  1. 1.
    Foreskin (boys only)
    Let's just say he slept fine after the mohel did his thing and I was shaking for an hour or so.
  2. 2.
    Finger Nails
    They are sharp and they can hurt you but just nip a little bit of finger and the cry will make you question your fitness as a parent.
  3. 3.
    Toe Nails
    See above and put on socks.
  4. 4.
    Umbilical Cord
    I didn't cut it. Figured would leave the doctoring to doctors.
  5. 5.
    Hair
    It doesn't hurt and odds are you are going to film it to show to your kid's prom date, or at least that's what I'm gonna do.