UNEXPECTED THINGS MY WIFE HAS SAID SINCE WE HAD A KID, VOL 3
- •Striped onesie: thrown out. Attracts blowouts.
- •Word to the wise: don't eat Trader Joe's faux-Doritos over your sleeping child. He looks like he hugged oompah loompah.
- •I rarely feel disgusting unless I'm covered in spit up but the I realize I'm wearing clothing I put on in the middle of the night two nights ago and he peed on me this morning and I didn't change.
- •Do you think when you are a baby every nap is like a couch nap?
- •Do you want to do our pie shakes for dinner's dessert?A) my response was #America and B) this wasn't totally unexpected but is totally welcome.
- •Do you need me to get you a nose and ear hair trimmer for Father's Day?Said with a maniacal laugh. [maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh.]