UNEXPECTED THINGS MY WIFE HAS SAID SINCE WE HAD A KID, VOL 5
More from my funny, brilliant wife @abbyzeecee
- •Just picked up the monkey and kissed him hello. Then I noticed the poop on his face.
- •Are girls allowed in your fort*? Well I know the secret password. You know what it is? I can pick you up. That's the password.*The fort is the couch he sneaks under.
- •[kid rolling around on floor; use the wife's face as a platform] THIS IS OUR HOUSE NOT GRECO ROMAN WRESTING.
- •He's dry humping the post of the couch.We were working on movement.
- •Is there corn on your cob?He pooped. And he ate corn last night. It's funny.
- •Oh my god, the cherry poop. I may never have a Shirley Temple as long as I live
- •After I feel asleep in the floor shushing him, I decided it was better for both of us to sleep in the chair.