1. Turn off your audio notifications.
  2. Ok, at least only have them on one device.
  3. Two devices.
    I'd settle for two. If you change the sounds to something that doesn't scare the shit out of me every time.
  4. Stand up if you want to know if someone is at their desk.
    It's super-easy! Try it and see!
  5. Whispering can be harder to block out than regular talking.
    I can't explain it, but it's true. Please find a more private space to talk.
  6. Never ever ever tell someone a borderline inappropriate joke allowed
    Not only are you putting them in the uncomfortable position of having to be polite, even though they might morally object to your joke, and you'll most likely (unintentionally, hopefully) offend someone else
    Suggested by @saltrifilio
  7. Stop eating crunchy stuffs
    Chips, nuts, apples...basically a thing that makes you sound like a gravel machine
    Suggested by @dreadpiratemama
  8. Ask the coworkers immediately within earshot what they'd like to listen to
    Otherwise, please plug into your headphone Jack accordingly
    Suggested by @saltrifilio
  9. Everything said allowed is for the entire workspace to hear and comment on
    If you need to speak privately, stick to Slack or whatever internal messaging system your company uses
    Suggested by @saltrifilio
  10. No farting
    Suggested by @mallofamanda
  11. Don't play the radio all day long.....
    Suggested by @leesh63