The case for being a hermit

  1. β€’
    Ohmyfuckinggoodness it takes forever to leave the house.
  2. β€’
    No one will miss this refrain, which gets steadily more unhinged as it progresses: "OK, sweetie, put your shoes on please. Please put your shoes on. Shoes. Now. I said put your shoes on. On your FEET. Put your shoes on your feet. One... twoooo.....three. IF YOU DON'T PUT YOUR SHOES ON NOW WE'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!"
  3. β€’
    Sunscreen is unnecessary.
  4. β€’
    No need to remember stuff: snacks, waters, diaper bag, wallet, phone, etc.
  5. β€’
    No sudden realization when the shoes are on that I didn't remind him to go to the bathroom.
  6. β€’
    No need to unpack all the crap that was packed to leave the house.
  7. β€’