Things I Wonder On Any Given Day, vol. 32.

  1. 1.
    How I still crush on Miss 🍯 from Matilda.
  2. 2.
    How I always seem to fall asleep at night - when I don't absolutely need to fall asleep right away.
  3. 3.
    And how I've yet to learn my ideal sleeping position - when I do need to fall asleep right away.
  4. 4.
    How I'm baffled that you can dream other people talking to you, in their own words, in brand-new sentences (seemingly, of course). Unreal. There's got be multi-verses.
  5. 5.
    Is it possible to hover in middle of a rain cloud? - Like having your waist-up completely dry and it's raining on your feet? Like where is the exact spot where rain falls? Amazed.
  6. 6.
    If you can start a bar tab with cash. Hand the barkeep a $50 bill, say keep it open, rather than have him/her go back and forth from your change on the bar top.
  7. 7.
    How people think click-and-sharing memes are truth bombs. No. Experiences, gaining perspective, listening to others and being empathetic are truth-bombs.
  8. 8.
    What is the percentage of borrowed Tupperware that gets returned to its rightful owner? Over/under 15 percent.
  9. 9.
    How the comeback of simply saying "your mom" has withstood the test of time. I've heard it for 28 years, and it still packs a zing.
  10. 10.
    What's the etiquette for pumping ⛽️ then needing to go inside, besides paying for the actual gas? Can you leave your car at the pump for 7-8-9 minutes if you use the restroom, or buy Flamin' Hot Cheetos, or order an MTO, or read snippets from a Good Housekeeping mag, or all the above? Say between 7a-7p, general suburbia gas station.
  11. 11.
    What's the frequency of washing your bath towels? I mean you're just drying of what is squeaky clean, no?
  12. 12.
    Put down your goddamn phones. Eye contact leads to body contact.
  13. 13.
    *dabs*