Things I Wonder On Any Given Day, vol. 4.

Eighty to ninety percent of the brainpower I exert on a typical day of mine involves random thoughts. I started to write them down. This day was August 28, 2015.
  1. 1.
    Dump trucks drive pretty fast on the roads. Like, faster than you think they should.
  2. 2.
    I don't know if I'm fully onboard with modern day zoos. To rehabilitate animals, yes. To educate, yes. To gawk at by the public in confined areas, no. There should be drone-zoos - have a drone fly around Africa, log onto a website, boom.
  3. 3.
    If Noah kept termites on his ark.
  4. 4.
    Instead of a Waze App for tracking police cars/accidents/delays on the road, Pittsburgh should have a Pothole App for tracking moon craters on the road.
  5. 5.
    Cell phones and microwaves can't be long-term healthy for humans. (Right, Brandon Ledford?)
  6. 6.
    Where has Ke$ha been?
  7. 7.
    If you pay for health insurance, you should get some kind of monthly bonus if you continue to be healthy. I'll take a coupon, scratch-off, anything.
  8. 8.
    Modern humans have been around for about 150,000 years, give or take. Eyeglasses have been around for about the last 1,000 years. I get a headache in less than 2 minutes and am blind as possible without any eye device. How miserable was it for half the population for 149,000 years?!? No wonder people believed in an afterlife.
  9. 9.
    If in any circumstance you fail to put on your turn signal, you are simply lazy.
  10. 10.
    How long I'd last in the octagon with Ronda Rousey.
  11. 11.
    If crop circles are different shapes, are they then crop hexagons? Or crop squares?
  12. 12.
    What Nina Agdal is doing right now. Hopefully thinking of me too.
  13. 13.
    Why it's perfectly legal to jump into the stands and onto humans like a Korn concert mosh-pit when a player scores a TD in the NFL, but you cannot whip and nae-nae with a teammate for 3 seconds? A fan will break his or her arm after 250-pound Eddie Lacy does a Lambeau Leap and the Packers/NFL will get sued. Then it all will change. Bank it.
  14. 14.
    How do you make a movie like Gravity? Immaculate.
  15. 15.
    What's for lunch now?
  16. 16.
    Have a good weekend.