Things I Wonder On Any Given Day, vol. 4.
Eighty to ninety percent of the brainpower I exert on a typical day of mine involves random thoughts. I started to write them down. This day was August 28, 2015.
- •Dump trucks drive pretty fast on the roads. Like, faster than you think they should.
- •I don't know if I'm fully onboard with modern day zoos. To rehabilitate animals, yes. To educate, yes. To gawk at by the public in confined areas, no. There should be drone-zoos - have a drone fly around Africa, log onto a website, boom.
- •If Noah kept termites on his ark.
- •Instead of a Waze App for tracking police cars/accidents/delays on the road, Pittsburgh should have a Pothole App for tracking moon craters on the road.
- •Cell phones and microwaves can't be long-term healthy for humans. (Right, Brandon Ledford?)
- •Where has Ke$ha been?
- •If you pay for health insurance, you should get some kind of monthly bonus if you continue to be healthy. I'll take a coupon, scratch-off, anything.
- •Modern humans have been around for about 150,000 years, give or take. Eyeglasses have been around for about the last 1,000 years. I get a headache in less than 2 minutes and am blind as possible without any eye device. How miserable was it for half the population for 149,000 years?!? No wonder people believed in an afterlife.
- •If in any circumstance you fail to put on your turn signal, you are simply lazy.
- •How long I'd last in the octagon with Ronda Rousey.
- •If crop circles are different shapes, are they then crop hexagons? Or crop squares?
- •What Nina Agdal is doing right now. Hopefully thinking of me too.
- •Why it's perfectly legal to jump into the stands and onto humans like a Korn concert mosh-pit when a player scores a TD in the NFL, but you cannot whip and nae-nae with a teammate for 3 seconds? A fan will break his or her arm after 250-pound Eddie Lacy does a Lambeau Leap and the Packers/NFL will get sued. Then it all will change. Bank it.
- •How do you make a movie like Gravity? Immaculate.
- •What's for lunch now?
- •Have a good weekend.