Top benefits of turning 30

  1. You no longer have to pretend to understand youth culture
    That latest hipster hangout in a heroin-needle filled darkened basement? No longer compulsory attendance - you're too old to misuse the word "ironic" anymore
  2. You have worked out what you don't like in terms of jobs
    You might not have found your perfect job (or maybe you have, I don't know your life) but you will have tried out enough things to know what you want to avoid - and therefore, what to go after
  3. Sex is much better
    Maybe you found "the one". Maybe you're living in a polyamorous commune. Either way the people you're sleeping with have been doing it for longer, know what they AND you want, and are much more comfortable in their bodies than the people you were shagging in your twenties
  4. Your parents stop defining your life
    It doesn't matter how much you might have rejected or embraced your parents in your twenties - they were still defining. Now you get to start defining yourself without feeling like your quoting the rebellious outcast in a John Hughes movie
  5. Life stops being about FOMO and starts being about experiences
    Watching other people go on gap years / do their dream jobs / find their dream person and feeling like you're failing by not doing the same defines much of your twenties. When you turn 30, you start looking at the things you have done (and would like to do) and choosing them based on your own interests
  6. Your peers are much more interesting - and interested in you
    Go to a party with a bunch of twenty-somethings and, even if you're one of them, it can be a struggle to connect. By 30 everyone is more interesting, better at engaging with strangers and less uptight about seeming cool. Which reminds me...
  7. Cool becomes completely irrelevant
    At this stage in your life, at least one person you know had had a kid. And one you've stated into the eyes of a three year old who finds you unutterably dull, you'll know everyone is uncool to someone. Lean into it.
  8. Travel becomes more possible and more personal
    Whether you're a master of the universe or a barista, opportunities to travel and see the world seem more possible at 30 than they did during your twenties. And you'll know what you do (and don't) like and prioritise accordingly, rather than just heading to 'Stralia because that's what all gap year luvvies do.
  9. You'll have quit / been fired at least once
    Leaving your forest job is terrifying. Like it out loathe it, you'll be waiting for someone to "graduate" you - to tell you that you're ready to move on to the next thing. After you realise you have to leave under your own steam (or they get rid of you) writing the next job is that much easier, because this time you know it's all within your control.
  10. Love is something you choose
    Falling in love in your twenties is hormones, adrenaline highs and sexual misadventure. Hopefully you got to enjoy this. Just as hopefully you are now ready to choose how you want to live and love (or not) rather than letting your genitals and teen movies choose for you. In fact from here on in everything is a choice - which is both scary, and amazing.