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Today I thought I'd give my dad a call from a number he didn't recognize. I thought it'd be funny to say something like, "Hi David, this is Kelsey from _________ (place of work) just calling to check in." Idk I thought it'd be funny in a formal way but it never got that far...
  1. 1st call:
    Voicemail
  2. 2nd call:
    "——AGGHHHH", long silence, hangs up on me
  3. 3rd call:
    *angrily* "HELLO?" // "Hi!" // *angrily again* "HELLO???" // "Do you even know who this is?" // *calmly* "Oh, hi hun. Sorry I get out-of-state calls all the time so I usually yell at them and ignore them."
  4. Overall experience:
    Alarmed and comically suppressed, ⭐️⭐️
Seems like it would take a long time to decide if someone is swipe-right-able, but most of these judgements are made on a subconscious level. Sorry if any apply to you..
  1. 1.
    Too young
    I don't want to date a college student who's binge drinking with their parents' money
  2. 2.
    Too old
    Also not trying to self-induce an anxiety attack over the fact that my potential bf has a stable, full-time job and I do not
  3. 3.
    Wears sunglasses in every picture
    I don't want any surprises in person
13 more...