1. Kill hitler
    Pretty self explanatory. There's a good chance that hitler got his worldview bc so many people on Twitter went back and tried to kill him as a child
  2. Party w Ben franklin
    Ben Franklin liked to party. One of his favorite things to do was invite friends over and then make sure to be fucking someone in the parlor as they walked in. This is fully true, btw
  3. Check out dinosaurs
    Just don't squish any bugs
  4. Go see a bob Marley concert
    I mean, say what you will about anything associated w bob these days, but his music literally brokered legendary peace treaties between warring nations
  5. Go get drunk w your heroes.
    You know where they hung out. Go to the Chelsea hotel or temple bar and party.
  6. Check out the pyramids back when they were still sheathed in marble and topped w gold tips
    Fuckin raiders.
  7. Seduce and bang your young, hot mom
    WHAT? Dude, no.
  8. Invent something/act like a wizard
    You can predict the future. Just do this in times and places that don't make a habit of burning wizards
  9. Play the stock market
    Something something futures trading something else. I don't understand finance
  10. You're a cyborg and your directives are to travel back through time
    Just don't fall in love
  11. Ancient rome
    Heard of it. Probably pretty cool. Vomitoriums aren't actually for barfing! I bet you could barf in one anyway. Bonus: the classic civilizations actually thought SMALL penises were more ideal so...er, moving on
  12. Stonehenge
    What's the deal with Stonehenge?
  13. Play with your dead dog again
    This is sad but probably very rewarding
  14. Go see the future
    Just kidding. This is a terrifying idea. I'm already traveling into the future at a rate of 1sec/sec and it's scary enough.
  15. Watch the dc10's all plunge into the volcanoes
    Check out xenu while I'm there
  16. What would you do? Why? Please add your suggestions!
  17. Hang out with the Doctor & chill in the TARDIS.
    Suggested by @janetanne
  18. Drink milk before it expires
    Suggested by @kavutskiy
  19. Poop in a toilet right before you actually poop so when you go to poop there's already poop on the toilet and it's yours
    Suggested by @kavutskiy
  20. Hit Liverpool in 1961 and slam Watneys while watching the Beatles play the equivalent of a basement show. Sing along and totally freak them out.
    Suggested by @johnny
  21. Get tickets to the MTV Video Music Awards from 9/9/99 and get to see Kid Rock open the show IN HIS HEYDAY!!!
    Suggested by @QuinnBeswick
  22. Protect yourself from all of those horrible accidents that you remember barely avoiding.
    Suggested by @olive
  23. Travel back to 1984 and try to become a famous author by writing and publishing 1984 first, only to find out it was published in 1949!
    Suggested by @kavutskiy