BEST THINGS ABOUT COCAINE (A DRUG I'VE NEVER DONE BUT IVE HEARD THIS FROM VARIOUS LOSERS)

Anyone wanna party?
  1. Unique breath
  2. You become hilarious
  3. Superhuman ability to withstand withering looks from the easily bummed
  4. Sweatiness!
  5. Fuck dinner. Let's do shots
  6. Useless penis
  7. Constantly standing in bathroom stalls
  8. Cool new set of friends
  9. Runny nose
  10. Cagey demeanor
  11. Real time experience untying little bags in secret
  12. Lots of farts
  13. Emergency shitting