1. Saturday
    Best day to be hungover. A whole cushion day tomorrow and nothing to do but have a mimosa and chill w your family/friends/fellow hobos.
  2. Sunday
    Like Saturday but with creeping dread
  3. Monday
    Oh, who fucking cares? Monday is a wash
  4. Wednesday
    Almost never hungover on wednesday
  5. Thursday
    Hungover on Thursday? Eh, weirder shit's happened, but by now, you're 4 days into working, exercising (don't be lazy you fucking slob) and sleeping like a human so this hangover, if it happens, is probably intentional and brutal
  6. Friday
    Just couldn't wait, could you? More of a shame thing than a physical thing. Upside: fuck it! It's Friday.
  7. Tuesday
    Worst day, worst hangover, total self loathing and (when you kids get older) barfing when you try to brush your teeth. Fuck Tuesday completely
  8. Doctor appointment
    Ugh. Actually, doc, just euthanize my dumb ass.