SHIT ABOUT MY ALIVE DAD

  1. He's alive
  2. He hates almost everything
  3. He drinks the world's shittiest booze
    Like, even well vodka is spectacular compared to the shit he drinks. I don't think this shit even comes in glass bottles at all
  4. He won't take any advice from anyone ever
  5. He's one of the best hangs of any parent (besides me, of course)
  6. He doesn't listen to music
  7. He loves a good dick joke
  8. He was missouri's youngest ever state prosecutor.
  9. He once walked in on my brother fucking someone and just stood there and watched...which I think is real weird.
  10. He's old
  11. He likes baseball
  12. His lack of interest in talking on the phone to me today was amusing
  13. He's me in 30 years exactly