THINGS THAT MAKE YOU (MEN) LOOK LIKE A TOTAL FUCKING PERVERT

  1. Top hat
  2. Chain watch
  3. Rings
    This cannot be overstated
  4. Anything velvet
  5. Long nails
  6. Ponytail
  7. Absolutely anything featuring barbed wire
  8. Cardboard sign w the word "titties" on it
    Regardless of context
  9. Tails
  10. A bowler hat
  11. A guitar
    If you're wearing it and not literally on or backstage
  12. Toilet seat themed gimp mask
  13. Santorum in 2014 shirt
    This should say 2016, dumbass
  14. Overcoat without rain in the forecast
    Suggested by   @gilbaron