6 TIMES TOLSTOY KILLED A BITCH

Not literally. Though homeboy has been known to do that. Currently reading War & Peace - also currently dying from emotional overload. (Update: I finished and I died)
  1. "No, I hate my life," Pierre said, wincing.
    What I say to myself every time I pass the wetzle pretzels on my commute home and don't get a pretzel.
  2. He was not rich, but spent his last penny to dress better than others; he would sooner deprive himself of many pleasures than allow himself to drive in a shabby carriage or appear in an old uniform in the streets of Petersburg.
    YAS BORRIS YAS. The war to look better than all other bitches is FAR more important than the fucking Napoleaonic invasion of Russia.
  3. Some accused Pierre, condemning him for Illuminism.
    ILLUMINATI. 1776. BAVARIA. THAT SHIT WAS REAL.
  4. Benefit performances, bad paintings and statues, philanthropic societies, Gypsies, schools, subscription dinners, carousing, the Masons, churches, books
    Dude Moscow is LIT.
  5. Sensing the bright light spread all through the theater and the warm air heated by the crowd, Natasha was gradually beginning to get into a state of inebriation such as she had not experienced for a long time.
    Natasha get your shit together you light weight. You are literally getting drunk of lights rn are you serious.
  6. When an apple ripens and falls - what make it fall? It it that it is attracted to the ground, is it that the stem withers, is it that the sun has dried it up, that it has grown heavier, that the wind shakes, that the boy standing underneath wants to eat it?
    Idk I'm just here eating my Sour Cream & Onion Pringles, but lemme throw something else into the mix - I think that whether or not that shits Fuji or Pink Lady or Gala is pretty important cuz have you seen them Granny Smiths? they are crazy and green and I'm like nah bra. I think I'm just hungry.
  7. "How can I think about the happy side of human life, when, as you see, I'm sitting on a barrel in a dirty shed and working."
    Err body working a 9-5 know this feeling, shit.