THOUGHTS I HAD WHILST WATCHING THE FELLOWSHIP OF THE RING FOR THE 35TH TIME

  1. Frodo is the worst
    Let's just start with the obvious. Frodo is the Luke Skywalker of Middle Earth - always whining about shit, making Sam do his bitch work, generally just making faces about shit like a loser. TEAM SAMWISE.
  2. Legolas's only job is pointing out the obvious
    He is a super badass elf and I respect that, but let's be real here - he's just sinewy muscle. He's always just like, "AND HEIR TO THE THRONE OF GONDOR." Like duh - Boromir just pointed out that out. Smh.
  3. Lord Elrond could have pushed Isildur into the fire and destroyed evil forever
    3,000 years ago Elrond took Isildur into Mount Doom and was all like, "CAST IT INTO THE FIRE" and Isildur was a roach and said he wanted to keep the ring and just walked away. Elrond is all pissed about when he could have just chased after him AND TOOK CHARGE. We wouldn't have had to deal with all this bullshit.
  4. 9 companions = 9 rings for the race of men
    WOAH
  5. Frodo as a hobbit ring wraith would have been the best thing to ever happen
    Just imagine if the elves hadn't healed his wound and Frodo passed into the Shadow Realm - he'd be a 4 feet lil wraith, draped in black robes, probs stealing food from his other wraith bros.
  6. If you don't cry every time when Boromir dies, you're an ice queen
    I'm asking for one single tear - that's all. A single tear for the brother in arms.