THINGS I HATE BEING ASKED ABOUT

  1. My opinions on newsy items I have no opinions about
    Ok, yes, I should probably have an opinion. But I also probably didn't watch the game / hear the story / read the article / see the laughing baby YouTube video. Ask instead: something more specific. Preferably with a yes / no / maybe option. (Also send the link that inspired the question!)
  2. Superlatives
    Too. Much. Pressure. Too many qualifiers. My favorite restaurant? Of all time? In the whole world? That represents the answer to every culinary need?! Food vs environment vs memorable experience? Does it have to be all three?! AGGGGGHHHHH! Ask instead: "what are you loving right now?" Or "You hungry? Does sushi sound good?"
  3. 'Gun to my head' decisions
    See above. AND WHY ALL THE VIOLENCE?! Ask instead: ANYTHING ELSE.
  4. How easy something is
    This is almost always a back door ask. The question you probably mean to ask is "what would it take for you to do this for me and will you?" Go ahead and ask.
  5. How quickly and for how little money I can create something
    See above. "You're so talented! This should only take a minute. And since it only took a minute will you do it for free?" The answer is no, it will take hours, and I'll charge you accordingly. Ask instead: I have a project I'd like your help with, can you send me a quote?
  6. My dating history / why I'm single
    1. None of your business. Sorry. And 2. If I knew I likely wouldn't be, right? Ask instead: I have a brilliant attractive witty loaded friend who totally digs you. When would you like to meet him? (Spoiler alert response: Immediately.)
  7. My relative level of happiness
    If I'm happy and I know it then my face will surely show it. There are so many other things to be than happy. Happy is simple. Let's talk about the things that make us happy, not happiness itself. Ask instead: How are you feeling? Or What are you loving these days? Or What can I do to make your life better?