1. Go ahead & starve!!!
    Giphy
    Roared at my children when they reject the meals I cook & demand I be a short-order cook.
  2. Why is the carpet all wet, Todd?
    Giphy
    Works for any frustrating matter, but mostly because there are actually lots of spills in my house. Both kids know to respond "I don't know, Margot" without ever having seen the movie
  3. Shut up, Ralphie
    Giphy
    The parents from A Christmas Story are my role models...although I admittedly mutter this one under my breath since "shut up" is still forbidden in our house
  4. And the children were screaming...the children were screaming
    Giphy
    Poor Liza. She didn't stand a chance fighting off Captain Hook. I reenact this near daily when my husband finally comes home
  5. Life is pain, highness.
    Local
    Suggested by @jennifergster
  6. The greater good. (THE GREATER GOOD.)
    Giphy downsized medium
    When you the one for the team and handle potty or bed time solo.
    Suggested by @ashleyanwiler
  7. Never need a map again!
    Static
    When you're lost and the kids are screaming.
    Suggested by @ashleyanwiler
  8. Release the baby!
    Static
    Pretty self explanatory.
    Suggested by @ashleyanwiler
  9. Not today, Zurg.
    Static
    Any time the kids ask for dessert.
    Suggested by @ashleyanwiler
  10. You're killing me Smalls!
    Giphy
    So many uses...
    Suggested by @megmurphy