I had a big cry this morning. The past few years have been terrible this time of year (weird since I love Christmas so much), but today is worst of all. I really need 2017 to cut me a goddamn break
  1. 2 years ago, the week before Christmas
    My grandmother had just passed away - she lived to 94 (❤️) so it was to be expected. The real horror show was less about her death & more the warring between my dad & his sisters. Plus the stress of my brother & I trying to figure out how to travel last-minute during the holidays away from our respective families across the country for her memorial & to support our dad. To this day, I am still so relieved that I did not bring my kids to witness their 1st funeral/extended family drama
  2. On this day last year, I was out of my mind with worry & stress
    One of my best friends was in a deep depressive episode & was actively suicidal. She lives by herself 20 miles from me, so I had to convince her to stay at my house for a few days so I could keep an eye on her. She was a zombie the whole time. I was trying to care for my kids, offer any distractions & support I could to my friend, all while trying to gather doc & insurance info to get her to a therapist ASAP. I was not sleeping, to say the least
  3. This year, that same friend is no longer speaking to me. I miss her
  4. My dad just called an hour ago: my mama is in the hospital
    She had chest pain on her left side (🚨🚨🚨), they went to ER, now she's admitted for observation. It was almost certainly angina, if not a low-level heart attack. The strangest part is, Mama takes better care of herself (diet & exercise) than almost anyone I know. It's all genetics that's gotten her to this point. Daddy is saying she's ok right now — the docs are focusing on making sure a subsequent event doesn't occur. I'm in CA, they're in NC. Trying to help & worrying from afar sucks so hard
  5. Plus, the Electoral College nonsense
    I was already stressed today & praying over this one when I woke. My prayers have since shifted focus, obviously
  6. I need a hug