Plot Holes and Random Details From My Best Friend's Wedding That Keep Me Awake at Night

The caveat to this list is that My Best Friend's Wedding is 100% the best movie of all time and we only hate that which we truly love okay so yeah cool cool very cool here's a list or whatever
  1. The opening scene where despite the vital importance of anonymity in the world of food critics the entire restaurant waitstaff somehow is aware that Julia Roberts is a food critic and she couldn't care less
    And then she gives the phrase spoiler alert new meaning by announcing her review of the meal LITERALLY ALOUD to the entire restaurant like was her editor pissed or...?
  2. That scene in the elevator when the movie decides to let an out of character alien invade Cameron Diaz's body to tell Julia Roberts that she's onto her plan and to back off her man
    She basically goes from 0 to Gone Girl in 6 seconds and its maybe the most jarring thing I've ever witnessed and I've witnessed an actual fucking bank robbery okay but that's a story for another time
  3. And then the elevator doors open and Julia Roberts literally face plants into a giant country club party and not one person bats an eyelid
    Sidenote I once went to the Beverly Center on a Saturday in pajamas to hit up Bed Bath and Beyond and proceeded to get lost in the parking garage and hop in an elevator with no buttons that whisked me up 7 floors and deposited me at Bloomingdales amongst wealthy 80 year old women whilst in my pj's toting a target shopping cart filled with bath caddies AND A COUPLE OF EYELIDS WERE BATTED lets just put it that way
  4. Everyone thinking that Rupert Everett's character is straight
    The man organizes a 39 person singalong to a Dionne Warwick song and the family is all YEP MHM DEFINITELY HE'S FULLY HETEROSEXUAL AND SHOULD UNEQUIVOCALLY MARRY JULIA ROBERTS YEP YES WE ARE CERTAIN AND OUR BELIEF IS AIRTIGHT
  5. That the father-in-law writes emails, COMPLETED, FINISHED EMAILS MIND YOU, specifically saves them to his drafts folder, just to have his assistant send them out in bulk hours later
    A not at all forced or improbable plot device jk it's insane and essentially on par with a landline phone gag in a 2015 sitcom
  6. The ICONIC crop top Julia wears to the pre wedding reception garden party thing
    Get that thing its own SAG card!
  7. The ending.
    So the moral of the story is just like do everything in your power to destroy your crush's impending nuptials and ruin his bride's life but decide in act 3 to just give up and let him get married and hell even ask the band to dedicate YOUR romantic song to him and his wife and then sit alone at a table at the reception and talk on a giant cell phone before getting up and dancing the waltz with your gay best friend as we fade to black or???